put it out there, and THEN make it better

Mixing ink is the ultimate practice of letting go of imperfection. Ink mixes are always unique, change depending on the media, temperature, and time.

“UGH” is what I am saying to myself. “You’re attempting to blog again. Remember your Xanga? That’s how you ended up with glasses, trying to figure out HTML…” “Yes, but it’ll be different this time!”

Now here I am, dusting off this ol’ thing, trying again. I am lucky to have friends that see my potential when I usually don’t. But this year was different. At the start of 2024, I felt like I finally had the motivation to get my act together and really launch Anitadoodles the “business”.

But then, you know, “life” happened.

There were stretches of days, weeks, months, where I could barely get out of bed. Grief was an ocean, and I was barely holding on to the small piece of shipwrecked driftwood. I didn’t have the energy to be myself, even cook, let alone create art.

I finally leaned back into making. It was my solace, and one of the few moments I felt I actually had some kind of control. For a finite period of time, I could temporarily shut down my brain and ground myself in drawing.

A lot of the art I made this year was not shared on social media. In a way, it was freeing. I was doing this art for me. I was doing it for survival. Putting it up on social media felt like such a heavy lift, and I needed to be easy on myself. One of the best gifts a friend gave me was a gift certificate for a screen printing class. This was the push I needed to be accountable to myself — and in the next few blog posts, I’ll reveal what I made in class! One thing I have learned in the class has been to embrace imperfection, and adapting to things if they don’t turn out the way you meticulously planned. This lesson has been huge for this Type-A perfectionist.

The other lesson I learned is to just put it out there, and THEN make it better. I’ve been holding myself back for so long (art-wise) waiting for the right time, to make the right art, etc. to do an art fair, to publish physical prints, etc. I would admire others at these fairs, who didn’t have much, but here THEY were, with a booth, with their art (good? debatable), doing the damn thing. So here I am. I am manifesting that in this next year, I will make more, and I will do a fair (!!).Which one? Not sure! If you have any suggestions, let me know!